If I could summarize and share one thing about finding your purpose that I’ve learned through observation and experience, it would be this:

Purpose is not about what we DO. We’ve been looking at it all wrong, trying to figure out our purpose from the perspective of what we’re doing or not doing in life.

An easier way to live your purpose is through FEELING.

Emotion is the guiding compass that points you to your purpose.

Suffocation, anxiety, and boredom gives you one message – it shows you what’s not in alignment with your heart.

Excitement, inspiration, and curiosity gives you another – a flashing sign that says “Yes, go this way!”

When you follow your excitement, that is the direction of your purpose. It also happens to be the path of your highest joy and least resistance.

And by “excitement,” I don’t mean a job title or career path.

I simply mean – what is the most exciting thing you can do right this moment? Ask yourself this in every moment.

Most times, what comes up won’t seem like anything significant.

Your highest excitement right now might be to take a walk. Go to the bookstore. Make lunch. Call a friend. Look up something online.

Or, there might be a bigger theme that keeps pulling at you. Quit your job. Move houses. Buy some art materials. Book a trip. Start a project.

Every day, every hour, your highest excitement in that moment may change. At first, it won’t seem connected. But it is.

Something seemingly random will lead you to a new idea, opportunity, lesson, or person. The momentum will pick up as you continue following your intuition, and the dots will start to connect.

Some people KNOW their purpose, deep in their bones, from a young age. They know they are here to be a pianist, a doctor, a mother. But that’s rare, and it isn’t the only way.

Most of us don’t grow up knowing our purpose. But there’s a deep yearning, a feeling that we are not living our potential. Often, we find things that are secondary to our highest joy because they fit into an acceptable way to make money.

For this group of people, purpose is not a clear destination.

More likely, you stumble upon it after following an ever-evolving chain of events. And one day, you will be smack dab in the middle of a life you love — and only then will you realize that you’re standing in your purpose.

From that place, you’ll know that purpose is not just a job title or career path. It’s about how you’re feeling and being as you walk through life.

You’ll feel aligned with your heart, lit up from within, and inspired. And that will be infused in what you do, what you create. So ultimately, it does translate into what you’re doing. But the fuel for what you do comes from how you’re feeling and being inside.

We must take off the pressure of having to define what we’re called to do the rest of our lives – and instead, tune into what excites us right now. Right this moment. This harnesses the power of presence and the wisdom of your intuition.

When you can be present and tune into your intuition, the inspired action that bubbles up from that place WILL be exactly what you’re meant to do in that moment. It is the first breadcrumb leading to all the other breadcrumbs on your path.

I know this may sound vague, so I’ll share my personal experience to try to illustrate.

This is the chain of excitement I followed in my life the past 3 years. At the time, it didn’t all connect or make sense. And many times, I felt lost. The dots connect only when you look back retrospectively.

  • 3 years ago, I was working at a tech company in Silicon Valley. Some evenings, and on weekends, I went to a cafe to write. I didn’t publish or post anything. I was way too afraid back then to share. But my heart sang when I wrote, and so I did it for myself.
  • I left my job to travel the world. I started a blog, where I quietly posted my writing. I wrote mostly about remote work, purpose, and unconventional careers.
  • For money, I consulted tech company founders and business owners. My main focus was strategy, marketing, and operations. But along the way, I also gave them coaching and mindset advisory – and this was my favorite part of the work.
  • At the time, I thought my purpose was to consult tech founders, working remotely for myself. And my dream was to write a book. That was it.
  • I felt inspired to attend a freelance/creative retreat in Cape Town run by an amazing company, Unsettled. I met so many inspiring people who were living unconventionally, and some of them became my closest friends today.
  • While traveling solo, I meditated and read a lot about spirituality and personal growth. I questioned and re-wrote many of my beliefs.
  • I started writing about my spiritual journey. This was completely unplanned, and it happened naturally to reflect my experiences and shifting priorities at the time.
  • I began to coach individuals on their life and career journeys. Many friends reached out for advice, and we supported each other in our dreams.
  • Seemingly ‘randomly’, my friend in Bali asked me to join him in leading a documentary project called Goddesses of Manifestation. We documented the journeys of 9 women around the world who were manifesting 9 dreams, pairing them each with a life coach. I found that I enjoyed running group coaching calls. There was also talk about having me write the book for it, which gave me the confidence to start seeing myself as a future author and taking this dream more seriously.
  • At this point, I thought my purpose was to coach individuals and help them awaken to their power and fullest potential. And I still dreamed of writing a book. That was it.
  • Only 6 months ago, I found the courage to share my writing regularly on Instagram. Before that, I was just publishing on my blog quietly without promoting it. (I know… It’s easy to be a marketer for another person’s dream or company. Promoting yourself before you feel confident is another story.)
  • I started painting again. This was just for fun! One day, it was my highest excitement to buy a canvas and paint. Now, I sell my original artwork and prints! As a kid, I dreamt of being an artist and writer, but I never saw it as a real-life option until I was standing in the middle of it.

Of course, my timeline seems clear and linear looking back. But please know that the above is just a summary. There were MANY MONTHS of feeling lost, doubting myself, and wondering what in the world I’m doing… And I experienced many slow months, where it felt like there was barely any momentum in my life. A winter depression. I went through cycles of clarity and joy, followed by doubt and anxiety.

Many days, my highest excitement was to go for a walk and enjoy the sun. Some days, that was it. But on others, I’d get inspired during my walk and write something for my blog.

There were magical days, full of synchronicity. Ordinary days. And many days spent in tears, with waves of vulnerability washing through me.

I allowed myself to feel the fear. I sat in the middle of my fears and tried to see the root of them.

And instead of judging myself during those hard times, I really worked on trusting my journey. Trusting that I’m on my path. Trusting that every challenge, learning, and slower period of reflection leads to growth.

I allowed myself to enjoy the extra space I created in life to tune into my heart. And the past two years have been the most fun, magical, and nourishing years of my life.

Now, I know my purpose is not to write a book. Or make art. Or help people on their journeys. Yes, these are various physical expressions of my purpose.

But my purpose is to BE my fullest expression of my soul. To hold my light so others can find theirs. To follow my heart. To FEEL alive. There are no words to define it adequately, and I know the words will keep evolving – but the energy behind them is the same.

And so, your purpose is to follow your joy… Because that leads to all other things: how you’re being, how you feel, and what you do. And everything else (money, impact, results) becomes a byproduct.

I share all of this because I wish someone had explained it to me 3 years ago – both in theory and real life experience.

I should also say this: From the outside, people may look like they have it together. But underneath, we all share the human journey of doubt, lack of clarity and inspiration, loss, rejection, fear… And my story is no different.

Looking back, it’s easy to summarize my life and give a highlight reel.

Because even now, as I stand with more clarity and excitement than I‘ve ever had before, I still feel like the future is unclear. I know that there will be surprising twists and turns that I cannot anticipate today.

But we don’t need clarity about the long-term future, because there’s no way we can plan or imagine how life will turn out.

We just need clarity about what speaks to our heart – right now. Today. What do I want to do?! Then do the first thing that comes to mind.

We try to figure out our purpose as adults, when it’s far more effective to live moment-to-moment like a child. That’s the way to float through life with the current, on the path of least resistance to what your adult self wants to experience.

So be gentle with yourself, and try not to compare where you are to where others seem to be.

It doesn’t have to take 3 years, 1 year, or even 6 months. Follow your joy today. On the weekend. For one hour in the evening. Be open. Be yourself, both when you’re alone and as much as you can when you’re with people.

And know that this is the most important thing you can do in terms of ‘finding’ your purpose.

Because looking back, you will be able to connect the dots. And you will know that where you are right now, no matter how you may perceive it, is the absolute perfect place you’re meant to be for the next step to unfold.

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If you want to follow my writing, I share it more frequently on my Instagram @ashmi.path and Facebook .

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Written with love,
Ashmi

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