Feeling Stuck, Lost... Lacking Momentum in Life

I’ve been feeling stuck and unmotivated lately. I haven’t written in a while – the ideas aren’t flowing.

I experienced so much momentum for many months, but now things are stagnant. It feels like another dark night of the soul, another battle between my mind and heart.

But when this happens, it’s a message to go within and re-align with my heart. My soul is always nudging me, sending me intuitive messages and inspiration. When I can no longer hear it, it means I’m not tuning in. I’m disconnected from myself.

I know why this is happening.

When I had clarity about what I wanted in life, it was easier to create what I envisioned: my lifestyle, travels, relationship, and health. I held my dreams with conviction, even when they felt too good to be true.

Now, I feel stuck when it comes to my career – my life’s work. I know what I want, but I have limiting beliefs that are holding me back.

When you want something badly, often there’s a conflicting voice in your head that tells you all the reasons you can’t have it. Sometimes, it’s so subconsciously ingrained that you don’t even notice it.

I dream of living 100% in alignment with my soul, doing what I love – writing, painting, and working only with clients that are a “Hell YES!” I want work that aligns with my natural talents and joys.

I want everything I create to be an investment in my soul’s journey.

And I believe this is completely possible.

But here are some of my fears and limiting beliefs surrounding my dream:

It’ll be a lot of hard work. And I don’t want to hustle too hard because I love my current flexible lifestyle and freedom.
I don’t want to promote myself. I don’t want the spotlight.
What if I do it – follow my heart, baring my soul to the world – and fail? I’d be rejected for who I am. How would I recover from that?
I know I can make more money doing what I’ve been doing the past 9 years of my career (working with startups and founders on growth, operations, fundraising etc.). I should pick up more clients and projects (even if they’re not a Hell Yes!).

Then, I looked at each one. Is it true? Does it need to be true? Is there a new belief I can replace it with?

If the belief is rooted in lack or scarcity, it’s not coming from your core.

Your soul doesn’t know lack or limitation. It knows expansion, abundance, possibility – it knows who you truly are.

Here are some new beliefs to replace the old:

My true life’s work will feel (for the most part) effortless because I’ll be in flow. I’ll feel ENERGIZED, not drained, by my passions. And I’ll be able to create in a way that works for me best, taking downstream action. In fact, it will add more depth and freedom to my life.
If I’m sharing my passions for the pure joy of it, it cannot come across as promotional. It’s my truth, my natural expression. I’ll know how to BE and communicate my work when the time comes. Many people we see out there on social media come across promotional because the energy/intention behind their message isn’t pure. And of course, this is an ongoing journey where we learn to shed each layer of the ego and share from the heart.
No matter what the outcome, I cannot fail in following my heart. It’s not about the outcome. It’s about how I choose to experience and create my life in each present moment.
The most (in)valuable work I can do is the work that’s unique to me: the blossoming of my own soul, natural talents, and passions. Following this will bring me the highest abundance (which is freedom in my being and knowing that I can create anything I desire from within). Instead of picking up more clients, which might make me more money in the short term, I can invest in my own craft. This is the path of least resistance to true abundance.

Making your dreams come true does require taking action. But in order for the opportunities to present themselves in the first place, you need to clear the obstacles in your mind first. My friend and mentor calls this “clearing the runway” before takeoff.

How to Unblock Yourself

The formula for unblocking your manifestations:

Identify what you want. Write down your biggest dream.
Write down all the fears, limiting beliefs, and hesitations surrounding it. These are all the “yeah buts” that pop up in your mind. Sometimes, they can be disguised as something noble (like you dream of traveling the world but you feel guilty about being far from your family).
Review each item on the list one by one and ask yourself — is it true? Does it need to be true? Is there a way I can incorporate what I want slowly into my current life? (See The Work of Byron Katie for an in-depth exercise on this)
Next to it, write down a new belief that you can replace it with.
Program yourself with the new belief. For me, the fastest ways are EFT Tapping (reprogramming the subconscious by tapping your meridians) and The Work of Byron Katie. You can search for videos on EFT tapping on YouTube.

If you embrace the process, you’ll be surprised by how quickly you can overturn your beliefs. Sometimes, all it takes is naming a hidden fear and seeing how silly it is. With EFT and The Work, you can make a lot of progress in an hour, or by practicing 10 minutes every morning for a week. [Other fixed beliefs are so deeply rooted that they will take much longer, or require deeper work like inner child and trauma therapy.]

I did the same process a year ago to find love. I dreamt of finding ‘the one’ for years, unaware of all the limiting beliefs that were pushing it away from me as hard as I was trying to pull it in.

I wanted to find love, but at the same time, I believed that a relationship would distract me from my career, independence, and vision for my life. That was a massive limiting belief, rooted deeply in my intense need to control my life.

And as much as I wanted to meet him, I felt like I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t good enough yet. I had to be more – fit, stable in my career, sweet, confident, a better cook – you name it. This meant that I didn’t fully love myself just as I was.

I worked on self-love and reprogramming those limiting beliefs – and I literally met him a month later. [I’m still a hopeless cook, but he finds it endearing, I think!]

The Blind Spot in Feeling Stuck

And here’s another perspective…

Even in the question, “Why am I stuck,” there’s a blind spot.

The question itself implies that something is lacking in my life now. It says I’m not okay with exactly where I am.

Why do I judge this period of stillness as something negative? Why do I crave consistent progress and momentum in my life?

When I get sick, or when I feel lethargic, why do I resist and judge it?

Can I flip my perspective to turn the negative into something positive? For example, when I get sick – can I look at it as a time to rest and go into my heart? My body wants to purge so that I can come out stronger.

I’ve found that when I do this, the experience of being sick transforms. I give myself permission to slow down and unplug from the external world.

I tune into a more gentle energy of surrender, trusting it’s what my body, mind, and soul needs at the time.

Even when you don’t see evidence of progress in your life, a lot of work is happening within: clearing, purging, healing, transforming. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is slow down… And get out of your own way!

“Feeling confused is a sign that you’re trying too hard to figure it out.” — Phil Good

All is Well in the Now

“Why am I stuck?” and “How can I snap out of it?” are linear questions that pull you out of the present moment. They arise from your resistance to the present moment.

My boyfriend reminded me that the key to peace is to be able to be completely happy sitting still. If you can do that, all other forms of expansion open up to you. But if you cannot feel fulfilled sitting still by yourself, you’ll always be searching for things outside of you to make you happy.

Why is it that we struggle to be happy, exactly where we are?

It’s because we’re programmed by society (and the beliefs we adopt from our parents) to value external success.

We spend so much of our energy looking for success and love outside of us, we neglect the true expansion that can only happen when we point our attention inward.

Your soul is always seeking expansion. But the greatest expansion happens within. From there, you blossom.

[And from another perspective: Regardless of what you ‘do’, you’re always expanding. Even when you perceive experiences as mistakes or setbacks, you’re expanding. You’re exactly where you need to be, right now.]

So be gentle with yourself. Often, what perpetuates the feeling of “stuckness” is our own judgment of it.

Sit still with the feeling. There’s something there that wants to be seen. Accept this new energy that is asking you to surrender, along with whatever emotions arise.

And when you truly tune into the present moment, the stuckness falls away.

One way to do this: Slow down your breathing and relax the tensions in your body. You can listen to beautiful music – really listen with your eyes closed. Sip some tea very slowly, savoring the warm sensations. Or meditate. It might take some time to settle in, but when you do, you’ll find an aliveness and peace arise from deep within. It’s a place you may have lost touch with recently, but it’s always there.

In this space, there’s no past or future to worry about. The mind finally grows quiet. All the worries that clouded your thoughts become irrelevant.

Your energy starts flowing again, and from there, new ideas come in.

That’s how it works. One day, I decided to meditate and really connect with my breath. I had an urge to paint, so I did. I listened to pretty music. And that evening, I finally found the inspiration to write this post.

~~~

If you want to follow my writing, I share it more frequently on my Instagram @ashmi.path and Facebook.

Love,

Ashmi